Returning to the River of No Return

Random Thoughts

- Most of the grass in the park next to where I live hasn't been cut for ages, it's sunny but there's not many places to sit there. Because it's so long.

- I just realised that I could playing Street Fighter 6 instead of writing about Baywatch... I've barely played it yet.

Baywatch - River of No Return Part 1 - I'm Still Talking About It

How am I still stuck on this episode? I must not spend much more time on it since I'm already four episodes ahead of this two part story! I'm probably not going to write much about them since I'm already forgetting a lot. The reason why I'm still talking about River of No Return Part 1 is because I haven't even mentioned the other half the the episode - the introduction of the new characters. I'm already forgetting the details but I think some of them don't interact with the old characters in this episode, they have their own introductory story. Since I'm six episodes deep into Season 3, I may as well just tell you about how the new faces come across in these six episodes in general. In other words, I'm sort of moving away from 'River of No Return'. 

Summer Quinn

A blond girl who moves to the area with her mum, they're portrait as being a bit poor since they live in a trailer. This isn't focused on though, and they seem very jolly so it's not all doom and gloom. She's probably not supposed to be much younger than Shauni but she's definitely portraid as that, since she starts to go to high school in episode 6. Summer is in the first six episodes a lot, which come to think of it is a bit unusual for Baywatch. For example, if Shauni had a episode about her, she'd often barely be in several episodes after that.

In the first episode Summer appears in, I was wondering if her or C.J. is the replacement for Shauni. However by episode 6, I will give the show credit by saying that both of these characters are quite different than Shauni. Besides both being blonde. If anything, Summer initially appeared to be the replacement for Eddie, since she's kinda broke and has only just moved there, just like Eddie. But I was proven wrong over the next few episodes, she doesn't have the hard-knock-life background that Eddie had and she doesn't have a chip on her shoulder over her past. So far anyway.

In the first six episodes shes in, there is a focus on relationships. It's set up that Summer is going to get with Matt Brody, another new character, so I thought this was going to be a replacement for Shauni and Eddies love story. Not so. The show seems to forget this completely after 'River of No Return', instead having Summer fall for Slade, another new dude to the show.

C.J. (and sexy people on TV)

If I had to choose though, C.J. is closer to being like Shauni but that's not saying much. C.J. hasn't even been in it much as of episode 6. C.J. is of course played by Pamela Anderson, I assume this is the show that made her famous. Her acting in these six episodes is quite bad, in the way that's it's all one note, she also speaks quickly. I went to 'Baywatch.fandom' to check the spelling of her name, her profile picture makes her look quite different from what I've seen so far. I don't know how much further into the series that photo was taken, but I guess this is evidence of what I used to hear - That Pamela Anderson has had a lot of plastic surgery. Was that it? I'm not sure. Something about boobs too. You see, I was never a Pamela Anderson fan, not in the 90's, not ever. I don't even remember asking myself if I found her attractive or not back when I was a teen, I never thought about her at all for some reason. Even though I was a teen in the 90's so I was the prime audience for getting the hots for Pamela.

That said, despite not having much to do so far, she is growing on me. Shes no Erika Eleniak however. Shes not close to being as good at acting and her face isn't as pretty, her... assets aren't as nice either. Sorry for objectifying them but hay, this is Baywatch we're talking about here and I'm a lonely old man who has had very little relationship experience, so I hadn't help but think about these things. Let me live out my sad little fantasies in the mornings while I eat breakfast and watch TV. Anyway, a little more perving ahead - Despite those negative things I said about Pamela (personal preference stuff), you do gradually start to see how attractive her body is. I'm starting to see why this show became so popular, it was probably quite explicit back then. I'm sure there were many complaints in the 90's, even though Baywatch is so incredibly tame compared to everything nowadays. If it was rated, I assume it would be a U or PG at best. We've had shows like Game of Thrones which makes Baywatch look like My Little Pony when it comes to raunchiness. Sorry, I know even Game of Thrones is old now, what's it been, ten years already? Something like that. I don't watch much modern TV and Game of Thrones is just my go to show when contrasting how much more explicit TV shows are now.

Wait, this was supposed to be about C.J. wasn't it, I have nothing else to say about her anyway.

Matt Brody

The new main dude in the show, for sure, Brody is a stunningly attractive guy, or rather I should say the actor is. It's mind blowing how good looking he is. Acting wise, he's not bad, personality wise, he's a bit like a younger version of John D. Cort. He's a bit hot headed like him but the difference is that Cort was an action hero, it appeared like he was doing dumb things but he actually knew what he was doing. Or was at least doing things for the right reasons. For Brody, he does stupid things just because he wants to have fun. It's Baywatch though so of course he has a heart of gold underneath the reckless attitude. He is no John D. Cort though, that character was great and had charisma.

As of episode 6, Brody has a thing for C.J. and she might like the attention though it's hard to tell through Pamela's acting. This attraction has barely been touched upon though and unlike in the past, I'm not going to assume it'll lead anyway. I'm starting to see how Baywatch will drop ideas all the time. I'm probably used to modern TV writing where not a single scene or line is pointless, they always lead to something.

Last thing I'll say about Brody is that he's already had several 'one episode girlfriends'. I'm not sure why I'm pointing this out, it's just a thing I noticed. It's sort of like old episodes in-which Mitch did the same thing. Brody will have some random girlfriend, sometimes an extra or sometimes someone more significant but never a main cast member.

General Thoughts on Season 3 So Far

- The borders between the 'A' and 'B' stories are more vague, editing wise, I mean. Not that this was a bad thing in earlier episodes but I did notice it more, it was very clear that there were two stories going on and that one of them was the main focus. The general consensus would be that having the lines blur more is a good thing, though. I'm late saying all of this though since it started mid-season 2 but it becomes more potent in season 3, I found myself not even thinking about if there are 'A', 'B' or 'C' stories. On the other hand I might be wrong about all of this - I may have just gotten used to the structure of the show, having it originally stick out because I haven't seen a show like this in so long.

I've actually been writing this post for several days so I've fallen behind, I'll post it now and move straight onto the next one.

Baywatch - Season 2 - The End of the Original Cast, Pretty Much

Random Thoughts

- All of my posts going quite far back have one view each, I'm wondering why. Perhaps there's staff at Blogger.com who check everyone's posts to see if there's hate speech or whatever. If this is the case, apologies that you have to read such a sad, lame, badly written blog that blabbers on about pointless old TV shows. I mean I don't think it's pointless but you know what I mean.

- This blog really is, and perhaps always has been, basically my journal.

- Once again I'm looking at how young I look in that photo of me on here, on the left-hand side. Oh boy. And one of the only photos of myself I like, too. Even back then, I didn't look good in most photos. Now that I'm old, I look even uglier.

Baywatch Season 2 - An End of an Era

More Baywatch, what a surprise. Here I'm going to continue my thoughts that I started in my previous post, which was mostly about Shauni and Eddie leaving. I had more to say about it all but I've forgotten, let's see how much I can remember.

I say Season 2 above because even though the changes happen in Season 3, it's only after two episodes in. That two part story could have been at the end of Season 2, in fact. It even felt more like a season ender than Summer of '85 did.

Who Stays? - Mitch and Ben

Shauni and Eddie leaving was a big deal not just because I liked those characters, it was also the end for virtually all of the original cast. They were the last to go. Yes Mitch (David Hasselhoff) stays but everyone knows he's always in the show, I think for the whole run. I used the word 'virtually' because to be honest there are other actors who stay but they are glorified extras. We have Ben who is no longer in the intro and I think he may appear for a few seconds more here and there, and then vanishes completely. Since his page on that Baywatch Wiki Fan site is so bare. Which, by the way, is actually too bare even for Ben. Most of his page sections are blank, shows how much of an impression the character left on the fans, despite being played by the same actor who is a different character in the pilot episode. Rest in Peace though (the actor passed away a long time ago, 1997 I think).

Who Stays? - Garner

Garner also continues to be in the show and seems to appear and disappear from the opening quite often between Season 1 and 3. I've seen online that he stays on the show for a long time and is in the spin-off but I still almost don't care about this character at all, to be honest. I don't think there's been a single story about him so far and he's barely in it. I mean, out of all of the 'background' characters, he's been in Baywatch long enough to warrant actual stories about him. Even Ben got one or two and I'm pretty sure Garner has had more screen time by Season 3. In case you don't know, Garner a cop, he's THE cop of the show. He exists just so the show writers have a cop to turn up at the end to arrest the crooks, if the episode happens to have crooks. My memory is already getting hazy when it comes to Season 2 but I think Garner is barely seen in the second half of that season.

Who Stays? - Hobie

Yes there is also Hobie but this is fake Hobie, the one that started at the beginning of Season 2. His acting gradually improves but he's not as good as the original actor and he looks and acts so differently, he may as well be a different character. He also looks and acts younger. Also since he's Mitches young son, his stories are often about being naughty. The problem is that this new Hobie often does things that the original one did, but the original one learnt his lesson in those old episodes. So again it makes him feel like a different character because he does things the original Hobie never would do. I might be wrong but I think there's even a bit where he has no experience with girls, he hasn't kissed before, or something. But the original Hobie did kiss someone! I know it's the writers fault but it's still kinda funny.

And the Rest

Then there's the rest, who I can't be bothered to remember, they're basically just extras anyway.

End of the Beginning

That may have not looked like a tangent but it was. What I should have simply said was that Shauni and Eddie were the last two IMPORTANT characters / actors to leave Baywatch. From episode 3 of Season 3, all of the core original cast have left besides David Hasselhoff. It's just sad, ya know? Those two, as well as the others who left earlier, they made what Baywatch was. Perhaps it's because compared to TV now, it seems weird to have so many actors leave, and so early on too, relative to how long the series went on for. 2023 TV shows and for a long time now, the cast mostly stay the same.

Shauni and Eddie Leave Baywatch

Random Things

I have a cold, it crept up on me which I don't recall ever happening before. I didn't get my usual saw throat a day or two before hand. Also I've been exercising a lot so I thought my immune system would have been stronger

Thoughts on Writing More About Baywatch

Some problems have appeared; I can mostly justify watching one episode almost everyday in the morning while I'm eating breakfast but writing about it those days is probably too much. It takes too long, longer than watching the show. One option is to write about it the day after, skipping watching a new one for a day, but that kinda sucks.

That may not be a problem on the other hand, due to another far bigger issue with Baywatch - I might stop watching it and therefor writing about it. Or I might keep watching it a but I might not have enough interest to write. Oh no, what a travesty! Haha, as if it matters. This is an unknown blog, written badly, written with all types of errors imaginable and also it's about a long dead TV show probably no one cares about anymore. Despite it apparently being one of the most watched shows ever and going on for quite a long time, it finished twenty-two years ago! I lived in a different town back then and I was working in a video games store. I didn't care about Baywatch at all back then, I never even thought about it.

 Even if I was writing about some new, popular show, even that is kind of a waste of time. I think the only good thing about writing on here, about anything really, is that it's good writing practice. Maybe it would make me improve, even if I'm writing about Baywatch, something no one cares about.

I just realised, I didn't get to the actual second reason why I might not write about Baywatch anymore - It turns out that Shauni and Eddie leave the show in season 3. If you read my last post, I think I said that I was pretty sure they are in it for one more season, that being season 3. This was because back when I started watching season 1, I stupidly didn't care about spoilers. I saw a few things online and one of those things was that they leave the show in season 3. Now, my assumption was that it would be at the end of the season, but it turns out that they are only in the first two episodes.

River of No Return, Part 1 & 2 - End Times for Shauni and Eddie

These first two episodes happen to be a two part story which do partly involve Shauni and Eddie. By the way this probably isn't going to be a review and I've decided there's no point writing summaries and a synopsis for each episode since they can easily be found on other sites like IMDB. Also I need to look up the definitions of 'summaries and synopsis' because I think I have them confused, haha. Not that all of that matters because I might stop writing about Baywatch all together.

The intros to both parts are misleading because Eddie and Shauni show up and they're in their usual spots after Mitch. Baywatch does this thing were the most important characters are closest to the start of the intro. It being a new season, I assumed it meant they will be in the rest of it but oh boy was I wrong. Shauni and Eddie leave the show after this two part story and not only that, it also felt rather sudden. It's not the focus but there is a small story that leads up to it, not that it really matters. I was going to write about it but who cares? It was most likely written into the script a little later so as to explain why they are leaving their job at Baywatch.

I didn't even see it coming even though perhaps I should have. Eddie talks about going to Australia for a year for some sort of life guard exchange program, which... I guess could be a thing. Stuff happens and then Shauni decides to go with him. I don't recall her actually even saying this, it's just an off-handed comment that Mitch says to Hobie seconds before the episode ends. In fact come to think of it, Mitch says 'at least a year' which of course turns into forever, at least for Shauni. There's not much of a risk of spoilers after this so I looked up the characters online. It turns out Eddie does in fact return but it's so insanely brief sounding, that who cares. It's in 'Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding' and I think that's his only appearance after River of No Return - Part 2. Hawaiian Wedding is a TV film that came out in 2003, two years after the show ended, so that's... wow, twelve years after Eddie left.

To add insult to injury, according to 'baywatch.fandom.com', Eddie says that he and Shauni have separated, not explaining why. He then has a new love interest in the film or something but I don't know how important to the film that is. My guess is that it's extremely insignificant. Anyway finding out that Shauni and Eddie split up is a kick to the teeth, just WOW! That is absolutely depressing as hell. They are supposed to be the unbreakable couple, the never ending love. I'm sure none of that mattered in the fiction of Baywatch in 2003, of course.

I sound really quite upset over this fictional couple from thirty one years ago, don't I, haha. I forgot to mention a big part of it though - They get married at the end of 'River of No Return, Part 2'. I really should have mentioned that earlier shouldn't I. I know it's fiction but finding out they split up after they got married is just sad, couldn't you have just left them as the perfect couple? I know the reason is probably just because Erika Eleniak wasn't in Hawaiian Wedding. In my head cannon they stayed together after they left their job at Baywatch... forever. Those actors were actually dating by then and I think they even got engaged, they split up not long after though, so real life kinda sorta was like their characters on the show.

So, the wedding, what can I say? One of the reasons why them leaving felt abrupt was because the wedding is a short montage at the end of the episode. Being a montage this of course means there's no dialogue. They get married on the beach and it all looks quite nice, though short. Bearing in mind that Eddie proposes to Shauni moments before that wedding montage. At this point I honestly still thought they were going to be in the rest of the season, ya know, being engaged and perhaps having some stories around that.

Everything above was written several days ago but I didn't post it because I thought I needed to finish it. I really should just make posts lives because it doesn't feel right going back to them, plus I forget things. I'm going to end this one here even though I may continue to write about the same stuff straight away in a new post.