Everything after this paragraph was written at least a month ago. As you'll see in a minute, I say I'd fallen way behind on writing about Baywatch. That seems like nothing in comparison to now, since I finished watching episode 2 of season 7 today, so I'm super behind now. So I'm what, almost two season behind. I'll post this now though, since it's been sitting in the background as a draft for ages, even though I'm not sure if I even finished writing it. I might start writing a new review today but it'll be in a new post.
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I've fallen way behind on writing about the Baywatch episodes I've been watching, I could just skip them like I have before but I feel like I have to write at least something. Also, once again I've thought about not writing about Baywatch anymore, it really is quite pointless. Also last night, I read some articles in a twenty-one year old issue of Edge Magazine, it reminded me of how terrible I am at writing. Perhaps I should study that, instead.
S05E14 - Homecoming
There was things I wanted to say about all these episodes but it's been a while so I've forgotten most of them.
Stephanie returns from her trip around the world. This is the main story of the episode and it's one of those ones where a villain wants to blow something up by putting a time bomb in a boat cabin. There's always a conflict that takes place in the cabin which leads to one or more characters being tied up along with the bomb, and then someone rescues them in the nick of time. I think this is the first time I become consciously aware of this Baywatch trope. This episode ends with Stephanie breaking up with her boyfriend because she wants to get back to her job, it's done in a non-confrontational way. They still like each other or whatever, but Stephanie can't commit, I guess.
Most of Homecoming is taken up with this story but there is a comedy 'B' story concerning Garner. It's alright but they could have done more with it. Mitch tells him that a life guard he fancies is deaf in her left ear, while he tells her the same thing - Hilarious hi-jinks ensue... actually not really, they just keep trying to change sides when talking to each other and shout for some reason. The life guard is called Katherine and we will probably never see her again. I think she's the first female African American life guard we've seen on the show and it feels like the only reason she is, is because Garner is African American too. It's one of those things that isn't racist but is noticeable when you watch old TV shows. It doesn't bother me but I do notice these things because of the current 'woke' climate we're in right now in 2023. I wish I didn't notice these things because it breeds negatively which I never used to feel when it came to these things. I'm sure other more woke people would be livid and say something like 'Why can't Garner have a relationship with someone who is a different colour from him? This show is racist!'.
Not a bad episode, all of these ones were not bad, actually.
S05E15 - Seize the Day
Oh boy, THIS episode. I had so much to say about this on the day I watched this but my mind is mostly blank now. The main story is about Tracy Dodsworth, the character they introduced just so they can kill her. Unsurprisingly I was right in my predictions, shes terminally ill and it turns out it's cancer. What type of cancer, they never say. The thing I was surprised by was that she reveals this and then dies all in the same episode, it's a sad episode but I guess the Baywatch writers didn't want to bum out everyone too much by stretching it out over several episodes. It all seems rather sudden. I think Tracy says at one point that the doctor said she should have died two months ago. I might be wrong because I'm not a medical professional but if someone is that sick, I don't think they'd look and act as healthy as Tracy. In the episodes shes been in and for the first half of this one, she seems fine. She can't do a rescue because she runs out of breath and from that point on, she rapidly falls apart and dies, she dies in Mitch's arms.
The second story is insanely basic, it's just filler. I can't even really remember it umm... Logan is pissed off with two people riding wave runners because they're wreckless. They crash into each other at the end so they need to be rescued, so we assume they're learnt their lesson. That's it, the end.
Seize the Day was alright. Poor Mitch gets to be heart broken again, how many times does he have to deal with this kinda stuff?
S05E16 - A Little Help
FreeVee lists this one 'A Little Help From My Friends' but the title card in the episode also just called it 'A Little Help'. I'm writing this blog post over several days, today I watched the episode of season 5 which made me realise how far behind I am just now.
The main story is here to show Mitch grieving after Tracy's death. It would have seemed jarring without it even for Baywatch, since Tracy snuffed it in the previous episode. However this is still Baywatch so I wouldn't be surprised if Tracy is never mentioned again. The story initially looks like it's going to be a new romance for Mitch but thankfully it doesn't turn out to be that way, it would have been insensitive so soon after Tracy kicked the bucket. I mean, it really did look like they were going to help Mitch brief by getting him laid. The woman in question is a painter, her paintings look really great. You'd think whoever the real artist is would be under the trivia section on baywatch.fandom but nope. This woman who I can't remember the name of, she is instantly friends with everyone in the brief time she meets them near the end, and... we will probably never see her again.
The small story is your obligatory 'isn't AID's sad' scenario. The guy with it depressed, possibly suicidal. At the end he gets a new lease on life after helping Caroline with a rescue, since he is a former Olympic swimmer, or something. A big part of this story is Logan not wanting Caroline to give mouth to mouth resuscitation to the AID's dude, arguments ensue. They make up but it's a bit odd because it's in the same scene where Logan gives her a modified can, which he made. It has a breathing thingy on it which can he used instead of mouth to mouth. I would have thought that Caroline wouldn't have liked this but I guess the idea is that Logan was annoying only because he cares for her safety. We will probably never see this can again. BTW when I say can, I mean those red plastic floating things they use to rescue people with. I think that's what they call them and I can't believe I hadn't mentioned them after all this time.
There's a tiny 'C' story involving C.J., you guessed it, it's about her interacting with a dude with a specific job/interest. Ever since she hooked up with Matt, these stories usually aren't about a love interest, at least not on C.J.'s side, but besides that they're all similar and paper thin. This time the dude is a dancer, C.J. is his dance partner and then he ditches her at the end of his former dance partner. That's about it.
It does culminate in C.J. dancing with Mitch, who transforms into a stunt double who can actually dance. I've been meaning to mention, this season has some real obvious stunt doubles which would not have stuck out so much in the original standard definition version. I remember thinking Baywatch had got a lot better with hiding doubles after season 2 but they go back to being bad at it in season 5.
It was an OK episode but writing about it about a week later, I do think the main story was a bit random.
S05E17 - Father's Day
Oh man I am blanking on this one a bit. Which part was even the main story? Mitch is given an old Birthday (?) gift from his dead father, he doesn't open it until later in the episode. Sorry, I don't mean his father rose from the dead to give it to him, it was in a closet or something and his mum found it. Basically it's about how his father really did love him, which we had gathered already even before he died, in an episode he was actually in.
The other story is about Logan and we actually get some back story, for once. We barely know anything about him, even for Baywatch it is a bit odd. Actually... is it really? Logan see's some fire, it turns out he has suppressed memories about how his dad died, who he couldn't remember at all until this point. Caroline is worried about him, he gets the memories back, his dad was a hero life guard, bla bla bla. This episode was alright, I guess.
S05E18 - Fire with Fire
Guest star Tim Wrightman as Andy Jamison is a new life guard, or, like, a temp one or something? So we know he's only going to be in one episode. He's Mitch's old friend, he's big, he's violent and the episode doesn't seem to know if he's supposed to be a villain or if we're supposed to think he's tough and cool. To be fair, a tragic back story is revealed at the end which explains why he's unhinged.
The secondary story is about Logan and I'm just realising, do I care or like Logan at all? He's a pretty lame character. The episode starts with him riding a Street Luge (look it up) which Caroline isn't happy about because it's dangerous. This is all one scene and then Street Luge's aren't mentioned or seen again. That's a shame because even though introducing a sport and then having a race or something is a cliche Baywatch thing to do, it would have been more interesting than what we got. The actual story is about how Logan is still married to Kathleen, you know, that bit part character turned extra. This is about his green card or something, so that he can stay in the country. Logan annuls his marriage to Kathleen at the end and I honestly can't remember how they fix the green card problem. After all that, I think they fix his major problem in a throw away line at the end. Like they say he's an 'essential worker' or something, so he can stay.
