Baywatch - S05E08 and 09

I know said this before but I'm really going to try to make these write-ups shorter from now on. Less explaining the plot pointlessly and also this means less spoilers, not that anyone cares. Party because 'anyone' doesn't apply when there's likely no one reading these. 

S05E08 - K-GAS, the Groove-Yard of Solid Gold

And the award for strangest Baywatch episode so far goes to... 'K-GAS, the Groove-Yard of Solid Gold', not that it had much competition. Say K-GAS out loud and it sounds like 'Kick-ass', get it? The whole title is simply the name of a radio station which will most likely only ever appear in this episode.

Only one story this time, it's all about people flooding to the beach trying to win a load cash, the radio station is running a competition. It's a treasure hunt where clues are hidden around the beach. Problem is, these extras are going nuts and almost killing themselves, the clues are often hidden in dangerous places.

Matt

He gets into the idea of winning the money himself.

C.J.

The radio station DJ falls in love with C.J. on first site, this is barely addressed. C.J. is mostly not into winning the money and gets a bit annoyed at Matt for getting into the idea. She says several things about how money isn't important and stuff like that, I guess the show forgot that gambling addiction episode. To be fair, there can be a difference between wanting the money and being addicted to the gambling games themselves.

There's one moment where Matt convinces her that it would be great if they won the money, since they are a couple. This part is simply so the show can do a montage of C.J. fantasising about being rich. However, it's just an excuse to do a Pamela Anderson fashion shoot, it barely conveys the idea of being which at all. This is the highest peak so far of 'hay look, C.J. has big boobs' in the show. We've seen it before but this is the most extreme example so far and feels out of place, like it has nothing to do with the story.

Kaye Morgan

The most interesting thing to happen, as far as canon is concerned, is that Kaye Morgan returns whose actress was still David Hasselhoff's wife in real life, I think. She takes over Jackie Quinn's cafe and renames it. I don't think we'll be seeing much of her and I don't think she'll ever appear in the intro. I like Kaye Morgan but only because she's an old school character, to be honest she's got virtually no personality and hasn't had any character growth since her first appearance when she was a bit of a antagonist. She was a reporter getting in the way, or something. As far as I can remember.

Not a bad episode overall.

S05E09 - Red Wind

This one is OK but I was hoping for more when the premise was laid out for us at the start, as well as seeing a returning character. Oh, also a really nice bit of music at the start.

A hot Santa Ana winds blows in and planets are aligned in a certain way, or something. It's explained that this leads to men getting aggressive, women getting horny and more crazy people coming to the beach to act, umm, crazy. It turns out we're told this literally to explain that these are going to relate to the three main stories. I don't see this episode being laid out in the usual 'A', 'B', 'C' way, the best way to explain is through what each character does.

Matt

Sadly he gets almost nothing to do, a woman in the sea takes off her bikini and throws it at him, sort of beckoning him to come give it back to her. We don't see her naked, of course. That's it, we barely see him again.

Mitch

It's safe to say that has the main story here even though it's not obvious at first. So perhaps I was wrong earlier, maybe the 'A', 'B' story structure is still here, it's just hidden better than usual. Someone who Mitch rescued eleven years ago comes back, wanting to be with him because she's painted this picture in her head that he's a hero. Problem is, she's engaged, so her fiancee is pissed doff with Mitch. Her fiancee is antagonistic at first but it gets fun when Mitch takes him under his wing, trying to teach him to be like him.

An overly stupid montage shows us the fiancee acting dorky, clumsy and stuff. It's over done but but sort of entertaining, even though they don't sell the idea that he's weak, when he's clearly a dude that's in shape. In fact, besides being smaller, he's possibly more ripped than Mitch. This is why we never see him topless.

This doesn't so Mitch's plan be is to go on a date with her (I really should have looked up these characters names) and act like a immature, selfish jerk. This is done in a montage in-which Mitch does so over the top, that I'm not sure if I loved or hated it. Afterwards, I really like the fact that it turns out she likes him even more now, for being free, fun and boyish. It's a joke that I was hoping the show would be. There's a bit more to this story at the end but I'll leave it at that.

Catherine

She gets the second biggest story and it's the most serious, probably one of the most serious stories we've had in quite some time. Catherine gets a bit obsessed over rescuing a little girl from drowning, but it turns out the father has gone a bit mad. She drowned a year ago somewhere else. The fact that there was never anyone else to rescue is revealed later in the story but it's obvious almost straight away. It's quite a heart felt story, though. The father is played by some dude I recognise from something else, a comedy I think, I like him. Catherine really should be given more stories like this, she's the best actor which was shown in her first appearance, before she became a regular. She's also the hottest, somehow. What a combination.

Destiny

Did I say Destiny? Yeah, I couldn't believe it too, they brought back this one off character who I liked, so she's not a one off anymore. I even said at the time that Destiny should be a main character. The great thing is, it turns out she's a regular in Baywatch Nights, which is a spin-off show. So I'll have to watch that, even though I heard it was bad and the premise does indeed sound bad. I doubt it's been remastered though, so I hope I can get decent copies of it.

The first time we see Destiny here is her reuniting with Mitch, since her original story was with him. But then she goes off and we don't see them interact again, which is new but disappointing. Actually it's probably only a bummer because she ends up doing pretty much nothing which is a bit odd. Why bring her back at all? She's there to calm peoples spirits and transmit positive vibes, which boils down to her and a bunch of others just sort of meditating in a circle. That's it, she does nothing else.

C.J.

She's not much better off than Matt, she has a story with Destiny, well, sort of. Well, actually not really at all. Destiny's first meditation scene has some Taro cards blow towards C.J., which reveal that C.J. is their new leader. It seems like this is going to be the story but it leads to absolutely nothing.

Overall, it's an OK episode but when it started, I thought they were doing to go more crazy with it. I was thinking more along the lines of that beer episode of Buffy. Just having people being more wacky would have sufficed, in fact the wackiest character was Mitch but he wasn't effect by the wind, he was acting.

Baywatch - S05E06 and 07

S05E06 - Short Sighted

I watched this yesterday so it is fading in my memory, I have it playing in the background to remind me.

I realised that in post production, montages are the perfect way to pad out an episode to the correct length, specifically important back when TV shows had to be more specific with their lengths. Simply film the story scenes first and then pad out the rest with montages. This one starts with a montage of Logan and Caroline qualifying to be life guards through a race, of sorts. Older episodes have had this race before but spend entire stories on them, I'm glad they didn't do that again. Also in the past, they've been more like obstacle courses.

'B' Story

I should point out that Logan qualifying is just for the position there in America, he isn't a rookie, he is an experienced life guard from Australia. This part of the episode is about Caroline not being able to concentrate on work because she's working with Logan, who she is no longer dating. We barely saw them date or do much together at all before this happened, by the way. Stephanie, her sister, tries to help via nepotism, which leads to Caroline getting missed off, because she wants to fight her own battles. I think the message was that Stephanie was wrong but Caroline comes across as such an ungrateful, selfish person, that it doesn't land as well as the show writers wanted it to. The sisters make up in the end.

'A' Story

This story is about a 'little person' called Simon. On the baywatch.fandom site and in the episode he is referred to as a dwarf, but I think this is considered offensive nowadays. So I'll call him a little person even though it sounds just as silly, in my opinion.

Simon and has a son called Nick, I think, and Nick is ashamed to have a dad who is a little person. They explain why this is a new thing by saying they only recently met, after Nicks mum left her husband and didn't let him see his son. I'm telling you the story here even though I don't want to just re-write the kinds of things you find on Wiki pages!

Though that's perhaps because there's not actually much to say about the story. It's heart felt and I see what they're going for. It's noble and a nice message to tell the audience, which is not to be prejudice and that the love for your family is important. However, there's not much to say beyond that when it comes to writing a review sort of thing here on a blog. Also, because it's 1994/1995 Baywatch, it comes across as incredibly corny at times. I think there was a montage of Simon walking around with a sad song in the background and the song was so cheesy. It's a 'look how sad some peoples lives are' story which I respect, but seems dated. Nowadays people with disabilities are more often put into normal stories that aren't about their disabilities. But then again, I don't have numbers on that and perhaps the absence of these kinds of episodes is a bad thing. Maybe making people aware that they should be compassionate is a good thing that is missed now, but who knows, I dunno. Overall I didn't mind this episode, though.

Matt is nice in this episode. I mean... come to think of it, this character is now played as the perfect human being. It's funny to think he was supposed to be a bit of a rebel when he was first introduced.

More interesting to me is that when I looked up Simon because I forgot that name, I found out that the actor, Ed Gale, played as Chucky in some of the Child's Play movies, including the first two. I love those movies. Anyway, I'm leaving it at that, this is a shorter write-up than usual but still too long. I need too spend less time writing about Baywatch, I'm thinking I really should be spending more time doing more important things and I'm already one episode behind.

S05E07 - Someone to Baywatch Over You

On Freevee they incorrectly call this episode 'Someone to Baywatch Over Your'. I have very little time so let's try to smash this one out quickly.

'B' Story

Matt rescues a woman called Angela who now wants to be his servant out of gratitude, she's from a small village who does this out of tradition. This is a lighthearted, mostly comical story involving Matt and C.J. trying to fake Matt having an accident. So that Angela can rescue him and therefor break things even so they can get rid of her. The montage of the two of them unsuccessfully setting up fake accidents for Matt was amusing, though it would have been funnier if when the random boys find him in the hole, they just started to bury him.

I noticed that Angela was played by the same actress who was in that episode where Mitch gets a house maid, seems like the show doesn't have many choices when it comes to actresses with foreign accidents. Hang on, I just realised, even the story is similar - The foreigner waits on someone hand and foot in both episodes. The conclusion to this story wasn't mind blowing but I didn't see it coming.

'A' Story

It's a crime story but the focus isn't the crime for once, it's F.B.I. agent being a dick to Mitch. It's not bad and a little different from usual, as in, I can't think of any old episodes it's like. However, there's not much to say about it. It's mostly just Mitch and the agent, who happens to be an attractive woman, I might add, arguing because she doesn't respect his job. It's revealed at the end which I didn't expect or even think about, but I appreciated them explaining it. It ends with an action sequence of them chasing the criminals in a speed boat because of course it does. Actually that's not true, it ends with Mitch wooing the agent because we could never have a woman not fancying Mitch, could we.

Overall it was a good episode, not great, just good.