I always have this urge to read my last post, how strange because it was only yesterday. Is it some kind of vanity? I wasn't going to write a blog post today but to hell with it, I've got a little time left.
Not feeling too good today which is a little odd because I felt kind of optimistic when I woke up this morning, while I was laying there before I got out of bed. However I did feel a bit unrest-ed, it's taken me way too much of my life to realise this happens when I go to bed any time after about 1am. Yeah 1pm sounds late anyway but that's fairly early for me. It seems that it doesn't matter if I stay in bed an extra hour if I go to sleep at about 2am, I still feel tired.
Feeling a bit crap today is also a bit odd because I've been in quite a good mood for quite some time now, possibly about a month or more. I've been happy with my progress with things but today, thinking about my goals makes me feel like they're incredible far away. Some of the "self-help" and philosophy stuff I watch say you should have goals but don't actually focus on them; focus on small hurdles instead. So generally I've been happy with small steps of progress but today it's all feeling a bit pointless.
Reason being? Well I'm getting that nagging sensation again that I'm focusing on the wrong things in life. Should I be out there interesting with people more? I feel lonely, I'm on my own all the time. Yeah, we're still kinda in lock-down, but there's a LOT of people out there doing things. The things I'm studying are supposed to lead to work, but all the studying is alone. I've had some drive lately but it's hard to keep that up all the time when there's no one around to help me or to teach me. We can learn a lot of things on our own instead but there's this annoying human thing we can't get rid of called emotion. Our emotions are probably simply connected to our old survival and reproduction instincts, sadly, but we can't get rid of them and we'd be soulless robots without them.
That actually makes me wonder why we bother to do thing.
And then THAT last sentence makes me realise all I'm doing is having anxiety over the ultimate question us humans always ask - What is the meaning of life? The one that everyone wonders about and struggles with, so I shouldn't bother with it right now.
BUFFY! God, anyone reading this will think I'm obsessed. I don't remember where I left off yesterday so I'll just randomly jump in.
I bought one of the first Buffy books online, it was about £3 including postage and it arrived fast. I've read a bit of it and it's not bad. I read a review of it online which said it was good so that's why I bought it. However I then checked the other "reviews" on the Buffy fan site and they were mostly very short and just basic summaries of the story. In fact that's giving them too much credit, they were more like "This is one where the Buffy gang are fighting ghosts" and that's about it.
Looking at other Buffy books online, looks like they're all cheap and most of them have pretty crap covers. The cover for this one is pretty good though, probably because is a photo that was probably taken for the book itself. Most of the others later on look like just screenshots from the show or the kind of promo photos they take on set while they're shooting.
Oh yeah, I should actually say what it's called - Halloween Rain. It's not the first book set in the Buffy universe but it's the first that takes place within the timeline of the TV series. I'm quite obsessed with consuming all media in chronological order but the earlier books didn't sound interesting to me. They're all set hundreds of years before and are about all the old vampire characters. Angel, Spike, Drusilla, etc. I really like these characters and even though coincidentally the episodes I've been watching have had flashbacks lately, I'm not interested in them when they aren't interacting with the main characters like Buffy, Xander, etc.
The flashbacks in the show are short anyway and often have some kind of thematic connection to the story that's happening in the present. I somehow doubt the books do that. Also, even though these old books are official, they aren't cannon. I assume they were at first when no one cared but then the TV shows went on for quite some time so canonical issues started to pop up - They aren't written by the shows writers, you see. Of course they aren't. However they naturally take place within certain seasons, the one I've started on starts in season 1, unsurprisingly. The Wikipedia pages give nice details about the problems and the problem with this first book was obvious from the start of me reading it.
It's about Halloween and it was written insanely early, I think it says online that only a couple of episodes had aired while it was being written. So it's before the episode in-which it's established that Halloween is in fact a quite night for evil in the Buffyverse (yes it's actually called that). Again, a nic little clever idea from the show writers but the book writers couldn't have foreseen that, they went with the typical idea that Halloween is the best night for evil to do... evil stuff.
That one is not a big issue and I can easily live with it while reading because even though they say it's a quiet night in the show, you're seeing them saying this in a Halloween episode so of course something wacky is going to happen. In fact Halloween episodes are some of my favorites.
My half an hour time limit ran out seven minutes ago, that went incredible fast. I should just get a picture of that first book and put it on here and leave. Oh I forgot to say, the weirdly old looking Buffy photos I've used on here in old posts, it's clear to me now that they're from these books. I haven't come across the other books yet though. Also there's a version of the photo taken for Halloween Rain online which doesn't have the book title on it. They're clearly stages and unlike other photos, the characters are always looking at the camera, which feels weird because they ever do that in the show, of course.
Bye.
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