What a weird episode but not like you're thinking, it's not a weird story like that one where Summer was getting horny with a ghost. Did I forget to write about that one? Yes, ghosts exist in the Baywatch universe. It's not a rare comedy episode like that one where Eddie hits his head and dreams that the cast are in an approximation of a Gilligan's Island episode. No, it's weird fr a host of reasons but mainly because there's no clear real stories until nearer the end, sort of.
When I first started watching Baywatch, I read online some people say how much better the first three seasons are and that they had proper stories, or did they day that they had stories, period, I can't remember which. Is 'Air Buchannon' the start of that trend, will this become the norm if I keep watching? For now though, I need to make something clear - I liked this episode. Perhaps because of its novelty but also because Baywatch's stories started to copy earlier episodes quite some time ago, which I've complained about before. Really since around the start of season 3, it's been repeating similar stories from season's 1 and 2. So having it the way it is in this episode is fine with me, however a lot of things about this episode would definitely label it as a real shit one by most viewers. I should explain what they actually do in this one, shouldn't I/
So here goes. It's a load of small, mundane stories that just happen. they are even more mundane than usual, even when the show is trying to make it look like they aren't. At first I thought it is called 'Air Buchannon' because he's going around doing random jobs but no, it's called that because someone steals his Hang Glider. This is a weak connection and just shows how much of a non-story this episode is, because normally the titles explain what's going on it the simplest of terms. Let's make a few notes concerning the bits that stand out, because I can't think of any other way to write this.
- Firstly, it starts with another rollerblading montage just like the last episode and it's long again, too. This is just the start of the oddities. Just like the previous one, rollerblading also ends up having nothing to do with the episode, at least they briefly mention it in the last one.
- We then see an extra doing Tai chi or something and she looks bad at it, then again, I know nothing about Tai chi.
- We then get the premise of what I guess could be called the 'A' story, or maybe the 'B' story? I'm not sure because even though there are two stories that get plenty of screen time, they're also scatter shot. Mitch and Steph have to do a 24 hour shift and this the main reason we get small stories, because we see them going around doing small rescues and stuff. But why would a life guard ever have to work for 24 hours? I'm not sure if that's a real thing. Also Mitch briefly mentions what happened with him and his ex-wife a few episodes ago, he also did this in the previous episode. It's unusual for Baywatch to acknowledge past stories.
- It's around this time that I noticed something I noticed in a previous episode but forgot to mention. Season 5 introduces diegetic sounds, most notably people talking on the beach. This is welcome even though in the previous episode there was a moment when it was too loud. The show has probably always had it but it's improved in season 5... or has it? Perhaps me noticing it means it's not as good, since it's supposed to sound natural.
- We then get C.J. telling some surfers that they are on a non-surfing part of the beach but it turns out this is not a story. I think this is around the time I started wondering what this episode is actually about.
- An old dude has a heart attack, I think, but it looks like he's just out of breath. Mitch and Stephanie are some of the life guards called to help and here is where we get another weird moment. The show spends quite a bit of time showing them actually driving there, they don't normally do this in Baywatch. They'll usually show them arriving in their yellow van jeep or maybe them getting into it at the start of the journey, at most. This part also leads into nothing again, we simply get told later that the hospital he was taken to said he is fine.
- I'll take this moment to point out again that I did like this episode even though I sound like I'm complaining. 'Air Buchannon' is good simply because we get to see the sights, sounds and atmosphere of this, admittedly unreal, place. Which sort of leads to the next bit.
- This is kind of hilarious. It's at this point I noticed how many bikini babe extras are throughout this episode. This show has definitely got more horny over time, gradually since the start. It was always there but I'm now starting to see what this show was known for back in the 90's. As in, I never watched it back then, not even once, but you know how the most strong opinions rise to the top in society and this was one of them. Well, the main one. You'd hear about babes, slow motion running, David Hasselhoff and Pamela, even though she's still not in it much. At that's about it, that's all you'd hear. Oh, also you'd hear it was crap but clearly it had something because it was immensely popular. Maybe it was just the TNA? I guess TV was the only way a lot of people could get their kicks, back then.
- The next weird thing to happen, though it's only weird for me, is that Charisma Carpenter appears as a guest star! I know her as Cordelia Chase from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, my favourite TV show of all time. Hobie and her start a thing together, will she be in it more after this? I doubt it.
- Next random this to happen is two boys hang glide in a place they aren't supposed to. One crashes but he's OK, he doesn't need rescuing, which is a first! He breaks the glider which leads to him and his make stealing Mitch's one later. These two are the closest to villains we have, they're just dicks though, basically.
- We get a random guy in the life guard switch box (call centre thingy) throughout this episode but there's a scene just after the hang gliding one where it seems he is not an actor at all. Who is this guy? I'd still trade my life with his though, his real life or his screen life, haha.
- Next weird thing is another montage... why would there be another one in an episode that already is going nowhere? Wait I answered my own question. Nice montage, I like. Funny thing is that it shows real people, which makes the beach babe extras stuff I mentioned earlier stand out even more. It really does highlight how fake this show is, the beach is and probably was never like this. We see real people who are wearing more, are less attractive and also there are far, far more guys. The earlier scenes with the extras were almost all women. Also in this montage, even though Mitch and Steph are driving around, you blatantly notice that two beach babe extras have been assigned to walking next to the car in almost every shot. I guess it was the shows attempt to offset the normies. Also the regular people are so much more densely packed than shots with extras.
- The next bit actually made me laugh. A bunch of cyclists and roller bladders crash into each other and the show makes it out to be so serious. There's about five of them and they literally can't get up and are moaning in pain, it didn't look like a very bad collision! One woman is saying she can't move her legs. These's people look way younger than me and I crashed my bike, I flew over the handle bar, onto my hands and scraped them. I was bleeding and I had sprained my wrists. I think I was 40 years old (so maybe last year) and I could still get up and walk. I could also just about ride still, though I stopped because it was painful. No way would those extras be that banged up.
- Next we get a hard cut to a montage of Hobie and Charisma Carpenter having fun. Yes, I'm going to call her that because I can't remember her character name. This cut from an apparently serious accident to fun times is funny. Also are they really giving us another montage? Is this the beginning of the show running out of ideas?
- Up next is Hobie has a house party, I'm getting tired and I can't be bothered to talk about this one. It's basically the other "main" story along with the Mitch and Steph one. It just leads to those dickhead boys stealing Mitch's Hang Glider and then an action rescue scene at the end where Hobie and one of the boys crash into a cliff. Yeah, Hobie grabs onto the Hang Glider while the other boy is taking off, for some reason. Even though he could have easily confronted him about the theft after he had landed. It's not like he was going to glide off into the sun set with his stolen goods. His mate is standing there with the car still.
- The next scene is Mitch and Stephanie getting horny, this, as well as the stuff I talked about earlier, makes this the raunchiest episode I've ever seen. Ya know, by Baywatch daytime TV standards.
- This bit is a part of the above but I'm separating it because it's so weird. They do a flashback of Mitch and Stephanie moments, one of which is of them meeting. She doesn't appear to be wearing a wig though so did they actually think ahead to shoot this before she cut her hair off for this season? Or perhaps it's an unused scene from an earlier episode, though that would have had to be a flashback too, since when Steph is introduced, she already knows Mitch. She's already dated him, too. Some of these flashback scenes are from previews episodes, however, since I remember them. They jump from black and white to colour, which is also a bit odd.
- That's about it for the stories, there was more but I can't be arsed, I've already gone into too much detail. The episode ends with Mitch and Hobie chatting while walking on the beach, something that the show does a lot.
Random, Out of Order Notes
- I rarely spot bad ADR (Automated Dialogue Replacement) in Baywatch but Hobie get's the worst one I've seen in Baywatch. I think it was when he's in his kitchen talking to one of the Hang Glider thieves.
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